How about: I'll hunt you down and write in red pen on your forehead, "STOP ABUSING ENBAY". It's good that you have a sense of humor. You'll probably never get this many lessons in English or grammar.
My Resolutions:
Lose weight. (I got started early)
Move to Coos Bay, Oregon and clear out all their caches. (Already got orders)
Take a road trip. (Caching all the way)
Looks like I'll achieve mine.